This Mentoring Article appeared in the January 2006 issue of Perspectives the Human Resource Association of Calgary monthly newsletter
Mentoring… from the Perspective of an “In the Trenches Business Professional”
By Chuck Bean
Many years ago, I was distressing over the fact that I was not getting buy-in from my team regarding a major corporate transformation. The problem seemed overwhelming and I was sure the plan was going to flop. But my mentor provided these key words of advice to me, “Bring me in at the beginning and I am your ally. Bring me in at the end, and I am your critic.”
These words have stayed with me for over a decade. From these words, I realized that I had to lead by consensus, and to communicate with my management team as did they with their teams. I brought them in… and the rest is history. Score one for the mentor.
So just what is mentoring?
Mentoring is a relationship between two people - the learner and the advisor - but most importantly, it is not an exclusive situation. Just like leadership is not the exclusive domain of role or title, mentorship is not the exclusive domain of age or experience.
Mentors and learners can be young or old, male or female, introverted or extraverted. Mentoring can be generational (old mentoring young, or young mentoring old) or experiential (tenure mentoring novice). It can be cultural, or it can be motivational.
What separates a mentor from a trainer or consultant is his or her ability to deliver an impact message at a key time, which prompts someone to be engaged and challenged in an unbiased manner. This doesn’t happen in a pre-programmed situation: it happens when there is a deep bond between two people.
What does it take to have a strong mentor relationship?
To have a strong mentor relationship, both parties need to establish a foundation and a process.
Step One: Establish a Foundation
Both parties must agree that there is something to be gained, and that each will play his or her role to make the gain a reality… the synergy of two. Together, both parties must agree on four basic principals:
- They must respect diversity. It seems simple, but if the two parties can’t agree that they may see things from different angles, there is no reason to go any further.
- They must agree on empowerment. Both parties must agree that things will go wrong and that they will work to “right” them.
- They must agree that progress is imperative. Whether it is an inch or a mile, every time they meet, there needs to be progress.
- They must agree that enough is enough! Each party must subscribe to the theory of “three strikes and you’re out”. If together the mentor and learner can not make progress after three attempts, it is time to shut down the relationship and move on.
As a mentor, you must provide visible leadership and be supportive of the goals and objectives of your learner.
Additionally, you must:
- Be a good motivator. You must understand that there will be failures and what is most critical is that your learners get up, dust themselves off, review and adjust, and move forward.
- Be an effective teacher. Isn’t it true that we learn more from being asked than we do from being told?
- Be respectful of innovation. The best ideas come from the fringes and you should respect the “out of the box” thinking that your learner may bring.
As a learner, you must understand that “results are a choice”. Your mentor is only a guide, and it is up to you to take action. Your mentor can suggest and recommend, but you, the learner, must achieve! Additionally, you must:
- Be respectful of time. Return on time invested (ROTI) is critical. Mentoring is about time, and you must respect that the time your mentor gives you is invaluable.
- Be respectful of experience. We have a saying, “consult the past, but debate the future”. Debating the past wastes time.
Step Two: Establish a Process
Both parties must agree to meet regularly. This is a grey area, however, once a month makes good sense. Meetings can be open door or structured, and during these meetings the learner should lead the discussion, based on a “current state – desired state” perspective.
Once a reasonable timeline has been established, both parties should meet with the goal of moving forward. After 10 years of mentoring, I can tell you unequivocally that there is no set rule as to distance, just movement, and the movement must - I repeat, must - be forward. Moving backward is a waste of time. “Goals without deadlines are just commentary” (another pearl of wisdom from a wise mentor). Every session must result in a forward direction with a deadline.
The most significant thing that a mentor can provide a learner is personal experience. We learn from stories, so when a mentor shares his or her personal experience with a learner, the learning process is significantly amplified. A mentor might also recommend that the learner:
- Enroll in behavioral or values-based training;
- Read specific articles for reflective learning;
- Engage in activities that provide “out of the box” approaches;
- Make presentations to select groups in order to learn new skills or build confidence;
- Create a business plan or a personal plan;
- Teach a course in order to become intimate with the subject;
- Mentor someone else; or
- Take on a part-time job or hobby as a means of reducing work stress.
How do you get started?
There are three types of people: Mentorable; Coachable; and Trainable. Mentorable describes people who are “willing” and “able”. Coachable people are “willing”. Trainable people are “able”. The first step in mentorship is to understand that only about 20% of people fall into the mentoring category.
As a mentor, you must be prepared to exclude four out of five candidates. When someone asks you for help, spend some time interviewing that person to determine if there is a fit. Look for people who have both problems and solutions, as these are the people who will benefit most from the relationship.
As a learner, search for a mentor who will provide the unique help you require. Don’t line up with a “same thinker”; find someone who will provide you with unbiased opinions and who will challenge you.
Finally, make a commitment. If you don’t have the time, don’t do it. Learning is a two-way street. For both sides there must be a commitment to stick with it, and an understanding that both parties will have highs and lows. Mentorship is a pledge.
When do you pull the plug?
Clearly, it is time to move on when the learner has outgrown the mentor; however, things don’t always go this way. As a learner, you should also consider “pulling the plug” if your mentor doesn’t seem engaged or doesn’t seem to have your best interests at heart. After all, it is your future at stake.
As a mentor, if I realize I have misjudged the individual’s desire to learn, I excuse myself from the arrangement. Also, I believe it is time to stop if you truly believe your message is not getting through. It may be your style, or it may be that the learner is simply not interested in putting in the effort to improve. Either way, it does not do any good to keep the relationship alive.
What are the benefits?
I have worked in a mentorship situation where I watched someone become a multi-millionaire. I have helped people realize the value of their personal relationships. I have helped people turn around companies and launch new initiatives. All of these situations have provided me with great satisfaction.
For me personally, mentors have helped me clarify my goals, find happiness in my relationships and achieve personal and business success.
But without question, the most significant benefit of mentoring is the fulfillment for both people in the relationship. It is that pearl of wisdom… the transfer of knowledge, that little trick of success. That is what mentoring is all about.
Chuck Bean, President, Baxter Bean & Associates, Inc. He can be reached at chuck@baxterbean.com.
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